i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
