sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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