what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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