Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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