i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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