there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
