All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
