She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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