i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
please come you make the beer taste better
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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