I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
