I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
