just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize
