I am in a vortex of obligation.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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