I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
