yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
