called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
