adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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