dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
i think i just lost a toe
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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