OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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