we have pet lesbian snakes
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Randomize
