I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I think a kid would responsible me up
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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