Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
