Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Holy shit dude........stairs
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