glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
