My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize