Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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