haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
