I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
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