Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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