So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
4 words: hood of his car
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize