I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
