But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
The feeling are messing with the penis
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
