I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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