I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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