Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
