I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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