I look better un-naked...
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
