Your tits are I can't wait for
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
