shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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