as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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