he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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