Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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