We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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