I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I think people are normalizing furries
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
