he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
