So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
