I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize