I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
