you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
