im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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