just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
