i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
