I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
