who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
