and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
