Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
