I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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