Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
