apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
