i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
