scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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