ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
