I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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